Project 365 2015 Week 25-26

Today I’m not SuperMum

So it would appear that rather than Mondays, Monkey doesn’t like Wednesdays.  He really doesn’t like Wednesdays.  It’s a new thing, a since Easter thing, and today it broke me, left me in tears.  Today I’m not SuperMum, I’m far from it.  I’m tired, frustrated and just not on top of SuperMumdom.

Why?  My Monkey doesn’t do change, he doesn’t like new things, new people, often, new places.  His teacher left at Easter and since then he’s had a new lady teacher 4 days a week and a male teacher on Wednesdays.  I knew he would struggle with the change, especially as he really liked his old teacher.  But in general he’s taken to the new lady teacher really well.

Then they changed Show and Tell day from Friday to Wednesday, the day he has the male teacher.  He won’t take anything for Show and Tell anymore.  Well, he did last week for the first time since Easter, but another child pulled his tractor from the box and talked about it.  Monkey didn’t tell anyone it was, in fact, his tractor, until the end of the session.

He doesn’t like the male teacher, I’m sure it’s not him personally, it may not even be the fact that’s he’s a man, I’m sure it’s just the fact he’s different, maybe.  I’m slightly confused as I presume a different teacher must have been around on Wednesdays before Easter (planning day) but we were never told who, and Monkey liked Wednesdays.

But now we have tears every Wednesday morning, not wanting to go to school.  Most days I can cope with it and coax him through the school gates.  He’s always been really good at holding hands, it’s our thing.  Holding hands and walking together.  Today, along with tears, he ran away from me, he ran back towards home.  It felt like I was dragging him to school today, he clung to me, he didn’t want me to leave him, he didn’t want to stay.

I’m sure that within 5 minutes he would have been ok, he came running out of school this afternoon, huge grin back in place.

Today I'm not SuperMum

Today I’m not SuperMum and I have not been ok.  I came home, looked on the calendar, thank god, only 3 more Wednesdays until the end of term.  Today I sat and cried and cried. Tired and emotional and just wishing my son coped with change a little bit better.  That it didn’t feel like a constant battle of wills.

Thankfully I had a Jado Chi session with a friend, I cried and that was ok.  Then we laughed and life seemed a little easier again.  Then I had lunch with a lady I met at Coombe Mill on holiday, a lady who lives a few miles away from me, someone who I seem to have a number of things in common with.  It was lovely, a day of adult time, of being me rather than just Mummy.  Just what I needed.

A day rounded off with a play date at Monkey’s best friend’s house.  I have to go too, maybe one day I won’t.  But luckily his best friends Mum is lovely and the time flew by.

So tonight we’re home, today I’m not SuperMum.  I’m drained, emotional and not feeling like I can conquer the world.  But that’s ok.  Every Mum is allowed to not always cope.  To not always be on top of her child’s behaviour.  Tomorrow I’ll be fine, but then again we’ve got Stage 2 swimming lessons, so maybe tomorrow will be another battle of change acceptance!  But tomorrow, probably I’ll cope with the challenge better. Tomorrow I’ll just accept that I’ll have to hold Monkey’s hand all the way to the pool edge, and stand parallel to him by the edge of the pool all lesson, and I may have to do that for the next year again.

Today I’m not SuperMum but maybe tomorrow I will be.

17 thoughts on “Today I’m not SuperMum

  1. Oh, to be Supermum, Mary. Rarely a day goes by that I don’t feel I’ve failed as a mother in some way that day. Mum guilt is part and parcel of motherhood, isn’t it? This sounds totally exhausting, upsetting and draining. As you say, Monkey’s no doubt fine within minutes, but you’re not. My girl is not like this, but my son is much more inclined to stick and cling to me, unless big sister’s around. We have his nursery settling in sessions next week and I’m anxious as I don’t think he’ll let go of me at all. We will see. Same upbringing, just different kids, nothing we’ve done. But please remember tomorrow is another day and you are a fabulous mum xx

  2. You know what, you do a fantastic job always. You do your best. We all have our moments (I say this from the perspective of someone having so many that I’ve forgotten what not having one is like)-my daughter was in tears at the school gates today because she found out who her new teacher will be and she’s devastated to put it mildly. And I know its because she doesn’t do change either, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I hope tomorrow you feel more on top of it all xx

  3. I’m so glad monkey came out of school with a big grin. I honestly think it’s so much harder for us mummies. Fingers crossed swimming is OK tomorrow.

    Lunch was lovely. We will have to meet up more often 🙂 xx

    1. He’d obviously had a great day judging by the state of him! It really was lovely to chat, although I did feel I was just ‘spewing my morning out’, so thanks for listening. Yes! Let me know when you’re free, would be lovely to sort a regular meet up x

  4. I really hope that come September wednesdays are fine again. It sounds like you need a break. Hugs x

  5. Oh children. They are sent to try us!

    Hopefully the summer will give you both a break, and come September he’ll click with his new teacher and change will be a good thing. Hope swimming goes well tomorrow.

  6. Sounds like you had a tough day. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re a great mum. Hopefully he will have just the one teacher come September & all will be ok. Sending virtual hugs xx

  7. When we met you said you wanted to write more lifestyle copy and here you are. It’s always harder to deal with the day-to-day when you’re tired and emotional, and dealing with separation anxiety is never an easy thing when you’re top of your game! But no one expects you to be SuperMum all the time -then you’d be robot mum, and no one wants that! As a mummy there always seems to be times when we’re feeling guilty about something, it just seems part of our DNA. But it sounds like you’re doing a fab job as a mum who loves Monkey dearly and you’re there for him, which is all he could ask for, and he’s clearly very happy when he comes out of school. Separation anxiety is so hard, I still have to deal with it with Little Mister who only wants me to do things for him, never my husband, and you feel just dreadful when they’re in tears and sobbing, but you know that there is always a reason behind why it has to be like this & hopefully it’ll get easier in time.

  8. If you were supreme you would be making a fortune, but you are a fantastic Mum. Perhaps ask who was in before Easter on a Wednesday and see what will be happening in September, will Monkey have the same teachers?

  9. Oh Mary what a horrible, horrible day. I remember when E was in reception I had a few days like this including one day where me and a teacher had to physically drag him through the door kicking and screaming – I didn’t stop crying all day. By home time he was absolutely fine, unlike me who looked awful and felt sick!

    Fingers crossed the next 3 Wednesdays are easier for you and you can look forward to the summer holidays xxx

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