Week 16 of PODcast‘s linky The Alphabet Photography Project. Monkey promptly passed on his germs last week, so I apologise for lack of commenting. We are off for a couple of days so I’ll try better this week when we get back. My The Alphabet Photography Project P is for Parents.
I don’t think you have any idea how hard it is to be a parent until you become one yourself. I had a very difficult relationship with my parents when I was a teenager, especially with my Mum. My parents were rather strict, we moved from Surrey to Oxfordshire when I was 14. It wasn’t ideal for me and it caused a lot of issues and conflict resulting in me being
asked told to leave home just after I turned 18.
It was probably another 10 years before we really talked through the issues from both sides. It was upsetting for all of us, but we survived the experience. We hadn’t been good as a family about talking, really talking. We could do small talk for England, but anything more was strictly off-limits. There was no discussion about anything, which really didn’t sit well with a headstrong, hormone fuelled daughter.
With my parents moving to Spain 10 years ago, we really did talk, about everything. Death, funeral arrangements, decluttering, family history, you name it, we have talked about it in detail. They moved and then had to deal with the break up of my first marriage via phone calls. They were brilliant. I had no money. Dad bought me a flight ticket and off I went for some much-needed ‘space’. I promptly arrived and developed Chicken Pox, so there were my parents nurse-maiding a very poorly 39-year-old daughter. Yes, a parents job is never done.
As an adult I could understand my parents reasoning for a lot of what they did; even if I couldn’t agree. But it wasn’t until I had Monkey that I truly understood what being a parent meant and how it felt. I know I broke my parents hearts on a number of occasions with my actions in those teenage days.
You become a parent thinking you will do things differently; but then you realise that different doesn’t necessarily mean right; and almost certainly won’t be accepted as right by your children as they grow up. I hope that Monkey and I will be better communicators but I’m sure we’ll have our fair share of disagreements in the years ahead.
But for my parents, they put up with a lot from me but have been there to pick up the pieces so many times. I spent so much time dwelling on the parts of my childhood that weren’t so great, but now I really just concentrate on the good things, the times we spent laughing. I love them both dearly, and would give anything to have them 15 minutes up the motorway right now.