The Alphabet Photography Project P is for Parents

The Alphabet Photography Project P is for Parents #alphabetphoto

Week 16 of PODcast‘s linky The Alphabet Photography Project. Monkey promptly passed on his germs last week, so I apologise for lack of commenting. We are off for a couple of days so I’ll try better this week when we get back. My The Alphabet Photography Project P is for Parents.

The Alphabet Photography Project P is for Parents

I don’t think you have any idea how hard it is to be a parent until you become one yourself.  I had a very difficult relationship with my parents when I was a teenager, especially with my Mum.  My parents were rather strict, we moved from Surrey to Oxfordshire when I was 14.  It wasn’t ideal for me and it caused a lot of issues and conflict resulting in me being asked told to leave home just after I turned 18.

It was probably another 10 years before we really talked through the issues from both sides.  It was upsetting for all of us, but we survived the experience.  We hadn’t been good as a family about talking, really talking.  We could do small talk for England, but anything more was strictly off-limits.  There was no discussion about anything, which really didn’t sit well with a headstrong, hormone fuelled daughter.

With my parents moving to Spain 10 years ago, we really did talk, about everything. Death, funeral arrangements, decluttering, family history, you name it, we have talked about it in detail.  They moved and then had to deal with the break up of my first marriage via phone calls.  They were brilliant.  I had no money.  Dad bought me a flight ticket and off I went for some much-needed ‘space’. I promptly arrived and developed Chicken Pox, so there were my parents nurse-maiding a very poorly 39-year-old daughter.  Yes, a parents job is never done.

As an adult I could understand my parents reasoning for a lot of what they did; even if I couldn’t agree.  But it wasn’t until I had Monkey that I truly understood what being a parent meant and how it felt.  I know I broke my parents hearts on a number of occasions with my actions in those teenage days.

You become a parent thinking you will do things differently; but then you realise that different doesn’t necessarily mean right; and almost certainly won’t be accepted as right by your children as they grow up.  I hope that Monkey and I will be better communicators but I’m sure we’ll have our fair share of disagreements in the years ahead.

But for my parents, they put up with a lot from me but have been there to pick up the pieces so many times.  I spent so much time dwelling on the parts of my childhood that weren’t so great, but now I really just concentrate on the good things, the times we spent laughing.  I love them both dearly, and would give anything to have them 15 minutes up the motorway right now.

The Alphabet Photography Project P is for Parents

20 thoughts on “The Alphabet Photography Project P is for Parents #alphabetphoto

  1. Love that post, it’s so personal and honest, it touched my soul. I think that every teenager has issues with his parents but it’s good when you can to talk to them about everything. I’m really sory that this doesn’t worked for you and at the same time I’m glad for you that you became a really family like adults who can share all their thoughts, good and bad moments!

  2. What a lovely post and great photos. You are so right – you don’t appreciate or understand how difficult parenting is until you have children. I just hope I get on better with my daughter than I did with my Mum during the dreaded teenage years!

  3. Such a lovely post, I can totally relate. I was asked to leave home at 17 and I went to live with my dad. It was an eye-opener! I didn’t realise just how much my Mum and Stepdad did for me until then. And now I have kids? Well, I just feel terrible for all the things I did growing up. We’re all a lot closer now, thankfully. Like you, my Mum doesn’t live close by and it is hard not having them just around the corner but it definitely makes you appreciate them a lot more.

    1. I ended up sharing a house with someone who has been my best friend ever since. We are more like sisters than friends. So for me, there was another positive to those difficult years.

  4. What a lovely post, and I have to totally agree, I always swore I wouldn’t be anything like my mum but now I’m a parent I’m beginning to understand her decisions so much more. The last photo is lovely too. #alphabetphoto

  5. I had communication problems with my parents as a teenager too, but I really appreciate them more since I had my son!

  6. It is so hard being a parent isn’t it. I remember when I was 18, headstrong and knew it all. Now I can see the same traits in my 19yo and I want to bang her head against the wall sometimes, but I can see me in her. Communication is a BIG factor in keeping a relationship strong. Lovely post.

  7. Oh yes. Do it different and then you hear yourself using exactly the same expressions. And meaning it. I’m glad you are close to your parents now. Becoming a parent is the most amazing journey. A photo to cherish. #AlphabetPhoto

  8. I am thinking that my life would be better, that I would be a better parent myself if I am near mine. I need all the help that I can get in the parenting department and who else can give me all the support but my parents. But they are far. 1 day plane ride far and I havent seen them for the longest time and this post made me miss them more. Thanks for sharing such lovely post about them =) #alphabetphoto

  9. What a wonderful post Mary, so glad you have such a good relationship now. Although they’re further away it must make visiting much more special. I’m now full of germs (have sneezed 12 times in half an hour, I’m sure that’s a record!) but catching up on commenting at least! Great post and photos, thank you so much for sharing #alphabetphoto

  10. I came across an old #bloglovin and this post. Its beautifully written and heartfelt. You’re right, we don’t know how hard it is to be a parent until we are one. But our parents are there for us whatever and whenever and you’re lucky to have been able to develop such a good relationship with your parents now.

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