I’m writing this post with a heavy heart, and felt exactly the same when I sent an email earlier in the week calling time on Cubs. My son has decided he doesn’t want to continue with Cubs and no amount of persuasion or cajoling from me has worked to change his mind. As you all know, it’s always a struggle to get him to go back to Cubs after any school holiday. He had an extra week off after this Christmas break because of the way the term panned out, and I wasn’t well the first week back, so his Dad took him, and then he seemed ok.
But last week he wasn’t happy about going, I thought he was just playing me up, as I’m Mum, and the one who always gets the grief. We got there, and he made it plainly clear that he was not going to let me go home without taking him too. He was not going to stay. Even when he was told that they’d be making soup, he couldn’t be persuaded. He was calling time on Cubs, I still wasn’t well and just didn’t have the energy to fight to try to keep him there. We came home and he went to bed, so I thought perhaps he was just coming down with something.
Over the last week I’ve tried everything to try to persuade him to stay. We’ve talked about the things that he does enjoy, and those he doesn’t. I’ve suggested sticking with it until Easter and then making a decision, but he’s not having any of it. We’ve talked about his badge work and how hard he’s worked to get them.
It’s such a shame. As you all know, my son isn’t a sports fan, so there’s no chance of him trying any sports related activity. I’d thought from the early days of Beavers, that he’d found his place.
Yes, he’s always been incredibly shy, and he’s never really made a good buddy at either Beavers or Cubs. But as an outdoors type of boy, I honestly thought he’d thrive at Cubs and would embrace all it had to offer. But it seems he doesn’t agree.
I’m mindful that I need to stop talking and start listening more. Although trying to get my son to articulate what he’s really thinking about things isn’t always easy. But we’ve given Beavers and Cubs a good try over the few years. He’s been in Cubs a year now, and if he’s decided that he really isn’t enjoying it then I don’t want to make him go. It then turns into a pointless exercise.
Would I like him to socialise more – yes, would I like him to try new things – yes. But he’s a nine-year old boy who’s quite happy in his own company. He’s happy to be at home building his Lego empire. It’s time for me to listen more and let him lead the way, as much as I might disagree.
So that’s it, he’s calling time on Cubs and I sent an email to his leader on Monday afternoon telling him the situation and thanking him and the rest of the team for their support and encouragement over the course of the last two years. Seeing my son enjoying himself at Cub Camp will stay in my memory for a long time, and I hope at some point my son will see what he achieved and be proud of himself.
If anyone has any ideas for something else we could look at trying, I’m all ears!