disclosure: this is a collaborative post
You will probably have had an idea you might be pregnant before taking a test. Now it has been confirmed you will probably be full of different emotions from excitement to apprehension. The prospect of becoming a parent, especially if it is for the first time, can be daunting and you could well need some time to think about your pregnancy before you announce it to the world.
Process It Yourself Before Telling Anyone
At this really special time, the only people that really matter are you as mum, your baby and your partner. You need time to talk about it with each other and to discuss how your lives will change. It is not unusual for you both to feel mixed emotions at this stage and speaking with each other can help you both to put things into perspective.
There will be some concerns, such as is your home big enough for a nursery or how will you cope on a reduced income for a while. None of the problems are insurmountable though, and talking them through will soon help to show you both that.
You both need to get used to the idea yourselves before you start telling other people. The first thing they will want to know is if you are happy about it, and unless you have processed it in your own minds, that could be a question you are not sure how to answer.
When 12 Weeks Have Gone
Many women wait until after the 12-week mark to tell people. There seems to be something special about being able to say they are three months pregnant, and that perhaps dates back to the days before pregnancy tests, when you had to wait that long for a doctor to confirm it.
You will hear that their mothers have told them to wait till three months sometimes, which just helps to confirm that it is something related to the past.
Tell Your Family And Close Friends First
Before you put anything on social media, make sure you tell your family and close friends. Just imagine how upset they would be if they found out about your pregnancy from Facebook or Twitter. That is something they might never forgive you for.
Telling both sets of parents, siblings and close friends should be done face-to-face before you announce it in any other way. A popular way these days, is to arrange a gathering of all the important people in your life and to tell them all at the same time. It does not really matter how you do it, just make sure it is you that tells them and they do not hear the news in some other way.
Letting Your Employer Know In Time
You do not have to tell your employer you are pregnant until you are 15 weeks. Once it has been announced everywhere else, some mums-to-be will tell their employer then, but to ensure that you get the correct maternity leave and maternity pay, do not leave it past the 15-week mark to ensure that they are aware of your condition.
This not only protects your legal rights, but it also gives your employer plenty of time to make arrangements for the time you will be off. You should never fear telling your boss, as they cannot fire you just because you are pregnant, and if you are unable to do your normal job because of it, they have to find you something else to do.
Employee’s rights for pregnant women in the UK are strict, and if your employer does not abide by them there are recourses you can take to protect your position. This also applies when your return to work after your maternity leave is finished. They cannot make life difficult for you, although the job you used to do may have been given to someone else. Employment tribunals are there to deal with employers who act badly towards pregnant women or new mums returning to their jobs.
Get The Support You May Need From Friends And Family
Pregnant women do not only feel sick in the mornings, but it can also happen at any time of day. They also can get very emotional for no apparent reason. Of course, this does not occur with all women who are expecting a baby but for those that do suffer it can make them feel very alone.
When people know you are expecting, they will offer you support at these times, and that can make you feel a lot better. They will also take no notice if you have to do things such as undo the button on your trousers and let your tummy show, as where pregnant women are concerned, most people are full of sympathy for the problems that can occur.
You will get support in other ways too. For instance, people love to buy things for new babies. A tradition imported from America is now becoming very common in the UK as well. Someone will usually hold a ‘Baby Shower’ for you where all the guests bring a gift. These are meant to be a fun time with friends and family too, as well as the chance for you to collect some of the things you will need.
Buying everything you require for a new baby can be very expensive and any gifts will be very useful.
It Is Your Choice, No One Else’s
Who you decide to tell and when is your choice. Do not let anyone talk you into telling people earlier than you want to, as this will just make you feel miserable. Informing people of your pregnancy should be a joyous occasion, and until you put it on social media, is a very personal thing that should be done when and where you want. Once you announce it to the world, the problem will be over with and then all you have to do is enjoy your pregnancy and prepare for the birth of the addition to your family.
disclosure: this is a collaborative post