In April I’ll be fifty one, the last year seems to have sped past and gone in the blink of an eye. 2019 has started off with a strange happening, the start of the end of something. Menopause and Me – the missed period. The only missed period I’ve had since I was put on the pill in my teens, other than the times I fell pregnant.
It’s a rather strange feeling. I’ve known I’ve been peri-menopausal for ages. You might recall the post I wrote about the menopause and me last year. Well since my last post I’ve had more hideously heavy periods and a couple of more normal ones. I’ve even had one that last two weeks. That was nice. Not. But I’ve still always had something, but this month my due date has been and gone and a couple of weeks on top of that and still nothing.
I did feel really rather unwell a couple of weeks ago, sick and totally without energy which came from nowhere and lasted a couple of days. It happened at around the time I should have been due to have a period. Was that some weird thing going on with my body and menopause? Maybe just a coincidence. I’ve felt sick and faint before, a few days before I’ve come on over the last year so maybe it is all tied up.
Although I know this has been coming, and I’ve got past the point of wanting another baby, it’s rather weird to know that my body is changing in such a fundamental way. Something will no longer be working in the way I’ve taken for granted for all of my adult life.
I like being in control of most things, if I’m totally honest. I remember the elation I felt previously when I missed a period, and knew that I must have been pregnant. But to miss a period after all these years and know that there is no way on earth you are pregnant. That this is different, that this is a new chapter. I thought I was prepared, but I’m not sure I am. It’s like knowing that you’ve got to leave somewhere you know you can never go back to. The decision not within my control.
Menopause and Me – the missed period. It’s a strange one. Sod’s law of course that I’d only recently stockpiled my supply of Super Plus Tampax as I was getting through so many of the damned things each month.
So what happens now? I’m not sure how I’m going to cope with having no idea of when or if I’m having another period. I’ve kept track of my cycle since I came off the pill in December 2008. Now I have no idea what’s happening. I’ve done a bit of Googling and it looks like I could be in a state of limbo for the next three to five years on the period front. Joy. So I’ll make sure I carry my tampons with me everywhere and just pray I don’t get caught out with a heavy period when I least expect it. Trust me, you have no idea how heavy a period can be until you get to this age! Fingers crossed and I’ll keep you posted on my progress.
If you’ve got any experience that you’re happy to share then please do. It’s an unknown road I’m travelling on right now.