I thought I’d start to share my experiences of menopause and me. Not all the time, but every once in a while as symptoms change and I guess as the whole thing ramps up over the coming years. My best friend and I compare symptoms whenever we get together, its nice to have someone to laugh about it all with. She’s a year older than me and its been so useful to have her say to me, yes I totally relate to how you’re feeling. It’s ok, you aren’t going mad.
Menopause and me so far, has seen huge peaks and troughs in emotions which are definitely linked to my monthly cycle. I can practically pinpoint when I’m going to feel totally out of control emotionally. There are a few days every month when I could and often do, just cry. Over nothing, over everything. On those days reason goes out of the window. I can’t see or think clearly. I try to just be kind to myself and take myself out of my normal routine. Then I’ll wake up the next day and the world of emotions is normal again, for another month. It can be exhausting, draining, especially when I’m trying to be a good Mum to a very active eight year old too.
Periods. Still seems to be a taboo subject, I don’t understand why. It’s a part of life for women and let’s face it, the men in our lives have to suffer the ebbs and flows of the effects of them too. So for me, at fifty, I’m still regular, running somewhere between a 4-5 week cycle, just as I have since my late teens. That’s not changed. Yet. The periods themselves however have. No two months are alike any more. Some months I’m really light, my period has come and gone with me barely noticing it’s passing. That’s a good month. Then there are the hellish months, where a super plus tampon doesn’t even last me two hours. Where I feel that really the safest place for me to be for 3-4 days is stuck in the bathroom. Where I dread leaving the house, where I’m padded up like a Michelin man, praying that I’ll survive the next few hours without flooding through everything. It’s really not nice.
Some months now I feel really nauseous for a few days in the run up to when my period is due, it’s almost like morning sickness. It’s weird and something that I don’t suffer from at any other time of the month. It’s something that I never suffered from before the last year. This month something else happened. On Sunday afternoon and Monday I just felt strange, really light-headed, foggy almost if you can understand what I mean. My heart would be racing (not all the time) and I felt faint. My ears felt blocked, it was a really strange feeling. Tuesday morning my period started and I felt fine again. Linked or coincidence? I don’t know, but it’s something else to add to my list of possible Menopause and me issues.
Hot flushes. There was me thinking I’d get these at night. Maybe I will, but it’s not really happening yet. But during the day, oh yes! For the first winter ever I might not actually feel cold this year. I’m trying to find the positive in all this. The summer was interesting, I love hot weather, but even I was struggling, with my inbuilt sauna working overtime. I feel hot a lot, it’s unpleasant. But on the plus side I’m drinking a lot more water than I ever have before. That can only be a good thing. I’ve started to get rashes around my ankles when I wear socks and boots on long walks. Not something I’ve ever had before and I’m wondering whether there’s some connection to me feeling much hotter than I used to. Maybe.
Sleeping. I’ve never been any good at actually getting to sleep. Even as a child I would read for hours before I could finally fall asleep. When I actually get to sleep, I am sleeping all night. I usually wake up before my alarm clock but that’s fairly normal. The getting up in the night hasn’t happened yet. But I’m clearly tossing and turning a lot, my duvet is all over the place in the morning. So how well I’m actually sleeping is up for debate.
Tiredness. I have no idea if that’s related to menopause or not, or if it’s just a getting older, having a young son kind of thing. But I’m knackered, all the time. Driving is tiring and most days I’m just shattered.
Forgetfulness. Lists on lists. Putting things in weird places. I’m hoping that this isn’t a sign of anything else!! But I’m definitely getting forgetful, or perhaps it’s just that I’m just trying to keep too many balls in the air at the same time.
So this is where I’m at. Menopause and Me. I’ve had my two days of feeling like an alien who will cry at anything. This month I appear to be having a light period and now I feel like I’m functioning on all cylinders. What next month holds in store, I have no idea. But the journey to the other side of all this has begun. I have started taking Evening Primrose oil capsules so it will be interesting to see what effect they have in the coming months. Let’s see!