Not holding hands - Living Arrows

Not holding hands – Living Arrows

It looks like times are changing here and my son is taking another step forward on the journey to independence.  He’s not holding hands on the way to and from school.  It started a week ago. He’s growing up, letting go.

Not holding hands - Living Arrows

We’ve walked the same walk since my son started pre-School aged 2 and half. We’ve walked that walk with me almost dragging him along some days, a lot of days. We’ve walked that walk holding hands and chatting. I’ve returned on that walk many times in floods of tears having had my son peeled off me. We’ve walked that walk and sometimes we’ve run when we’ve almost been late. Why do kids always need the toilet at the precise moment you need to be walking out the door in the mornings?

The week before last we walked that walk and my son didn’t hold my hand. We walked into school and he didn’t hold my hand. We walked passed his old classroom and he was walking ahead of me, not even with me. You’ll only really understand the enormity of that if you’ve had a child who clung to your side for years.

I walked that walk back home again in the pouring rain and marvelled at my little boy, who’s growing up and striding on ahead. I don’t suppose he gives it a second thought. How far he’s come. How far he’s walked along that walk.

But even then, he’d still reach out for my hand as soon as he came out of school each day.  Some days he’d want to tell me about his day, other day he was totally focussed on just getting home to his toys and Brewster, the cat.  Then last week things changed again.  Not holding hands on the walk home from school is now the norm it would seem.  But not only not holding hands, but walking on ahead, no longer by my side.  Just like that, he’s let go, and moved on.  Maybe things will be different when he goes back to school after half term, maybe they won’t.  But the blog gives me something that would normally get lost in time, I’ll be able to look back and I’ll know when he let go, when he walked on by, when he took that step.

Living Arrows

14 thoughts on “Not holding hands – Living Arrows

  1. Awww this is a very emotional post. I am not ready for this moment! What a bittersweet milestone. But I still wish I will be given more time before my son wont hold my hand anymore during school run. Sending your hugs. #livingarrows

  2. It’s so hard when this time comes, my eldest boy (18) cringes at hugging me goodbye nowadays so I relish my youngest boy’s cuddles even more. Try to look at it that you’ve raised a confident little man. #LivingArrows

  3. He really has come so far and it must be so bittersweet – seeing him so grown up and so independent and yet remembering the little boy he once was. He sounds like he’s growing so well x

  4. How bitter sweet for you. How wonderful that he’s become more confident but how emotional for you as a Mummy to not have his hand in yours. Its emotional this growing up malarkey #livingarrows

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