What will you be remembering this weekend?  I’ve always found Remembrance Sunday a good time to reflect on life, and feel extra thankful for the special people I have in my life.  It normally falls around my Dad’s birthday too, so I’m always thinking of my Dad this weekend – I’m such a Daddy’s girl, even now! Both Daddy P and I have close family relations who fought in the First and Second World War’s (more on a bit of that on Monday), and I grew up supporting the British Legion Poppy campaign.  Growing up very close to the military town of Aldershot, you appreciated what people were prepared to do for their country.  I lived there during the Falklands War, a time I will be remembering this weekend too.

So yes I wear my Poppy with pride, and Monkey thought it was great when he got his earlier in the week.  But for me this weekend will also be a little difficult.  Monday, especially, I might just be on a cloud somewhere, with my own thoughts.  On 11.11.11 my own little ‘poppy’ should have arrived, I should be frantically preparing for a 2nd birthday party.  Would it have been a princess or a pirate party?  We’ll never know.  Miscarriage happens to so many of us, it doesn’t discriminate against colour, creed, age or class.  But it hurts like hell sometimes, even a long time after, even when you have the most wonderfully, amazing little boy to cherish.

I know I’m very lucky, I never really thought I’d have my Monkey, I would never be without him.  Most days, hours, minutes that’s enough.  I’m a Mum, I have the chance to watch this unique little person grow and develop.  But there are days, hours and minutes when I’m remembering and wondering who my ‘poppy’ might have been.  Wishing for the sibling fights, and hugs and laughter.

So please forgive me in advance if I’m not full of cheer at all times over the new few days.  We’re off to London on Sunday, a special trip for Monkey (more on that next week), and while we’re there we’ll be going to the Cenotaph in the afternoon, to do our own bit of remembering.


12 thoughts on “Remembering

  1. What an incredibly moving post. I’m so so sorry to read of you Poppy. Sending you much love at this difficult time. The what ifs and maybes must be so hard xxx

I'd love to hear from you and try to reply to all comments